


A Letter to The Boys

by Anonymous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Hange Zoë Being Hange Zoë, Hange Zoë Is A Little Shit, Hange Zoë is The Main Fucking Character, Hange Zoë is a Trollop, Hange Zoë's A+ Flirting, Hange Zoë's Experiments, Hange Zoë's Harem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:08:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28342161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: She's always been smart-She's like a scientist,a naturally inquisitive person.She's the real deal.(Completed as of January 2, 2021)
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 17
Kudos: 49
Collections: Anonymous





	1. From Slut to Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whores get paid, I was a slut."  
> -Willam Belli
> 
> TW for this chapter: Rape, Non-con, Underaged Sex

**Sina, Age 11**

They're eating dinner when Hanji's mother suddenly chokes on her wine, dropping the glass into breaking as it hits the marble floor. Hanji jolts in alarm but her father doesn't; Mister Zoë calmly watches his wife claw at her throat as she struggles to breathe but life eventually leaves the woman. He simply downs the remaining contents of his own wine glass and for a split second, Hanji fears that something terrible is going to happen to him as well, but it is not to be.

Mister Zoë stands up, approaches his wife and prods her with his foot; Hanji watches silently. Then the man proceeds to give the woman a kick that's hard enough to topple her off of the fancy wooden dining chair, this time, Hanji gasps, "Father!"

Quick as lightning, he strikes her cheek with the back of his palm, the precious emerald stone on his ring cuts her cheek and suddenly her throat is tightening, ready to let out a sob.

"Your mother is a wanton slut, idiot girl! You are not my daughter!" He screams at her before hitting her again- and again, and again, and again.

It takes a long time for him to be satisfied with the image of Hanji's bloody cheeks; he approaches the body of Hanji's mother afterwards, he grabs the woman by her hair and spits directly on her face- his saliva makes a trail from the inner edge of her left brow to the bridge of her nose, then finally resting on her top lip before it falls to the floor.

A sinister idea forms, his hand reaching for a glass shard so he can cut through the woman's dress. What was once rosy pink skin is now pale with tints of purple and blue. Hanji is a smart child, it doesn't take long for her to realize that her father's been poisoning her mother for days now- bit by bit, through the wine. It explains why her mother has been weakening these past few days...

Hanji tries to block out the pain of her stinging red cheeks as her eyes bear witness to the absolute debasing of her mother's corpse- once he began, Hanji couldn't bear to look away. She's trying to recall a word for the vile act despite how disgusted she is.

The man takes his genitalia out of the dead's vaginal opening, but to Hanji's misfortune, he's not done yet. He manhandles the corpse into a kneeling position with its face making a plopping sound as it lands on the floor, while he positions the head of his cock into the anus. Once he's somewhat sheathed, he exclaims, "It's not lose," using a tone liken to discovering a delightful treat.

Necrophilia is the word Hanji's looking for; she closes her eyes because she's seen enough. Her ears can't block the moans and groans of Mister Zoë's pleasure as he ruts forcefully into the corpse, desperately chasing his release. Hanji swallows her fear as she slowly makes her way to the hallways, speed-walking to the stairs, climbing the steps two at a time before breaking into a sprint towards the library.

He'll find her quickly if she hides in her bedroom.

He finds her nonetheless, but it's after the next day. He drags her by the hair, kicking and screaming; terror fills her as he locks his office doors. Mister Zoë punches her in the nose, it breaks and bleeds.

He forces her to the carpeted floor but she squirms too much that she hits the back of her head on his mahogany table. He places a knee on her abdomen; "Who do you think you are, you fucking slut?"

The close proximity invades her sense of smell with the unpleasant stench of alcohol and cigarettes, despite knowing that he's cleaned himself after burying her mother's body, tears well up in the corner of her eyes in pure repugnance. He defiles her that morning by thrusting his cock into her ass, inch by agonizing inch. Hanji is powerless against him and she can only stare to the right of her where the early sunlight is shining through from a stained-glass window of a pink rose.

The birds are chirping outside and they're enjoying the morning, something she and her mother used to do as well; they would go outside where various little birds like to sing their songs and they would join in. Her mother is a mezzo-soprano, Hanji is an alto.

When the deed is done, she thinks darkly, _'How considerate of you to leave my hymen intact.'_

"Bathe," he orders, "You're going to repay every single dime your mother wasted."

By her twelfth birthday, Hanji's been fucked by seventeen men- paying men, men who keep paying and returning because they were pedophiles.

She hates that word-

She hates her life-

* * *

Her life as Mister Zoë's fake daughter continues uninterrupted until her period comes on her thirteenth birthday, then she meets Doctor Gus for the first time: he begins teaching her a bunch of things, and he stays with her for three nights- not with Mister Zoë, but _her_.

Brewing pennyroyal tea correctly is the most vital information he gives, while his suggestion to keep fit by exercising is the one that remains a constant thought, _'One day, old man, One day I'll get strong enough and I will kill you,'_ she thinks as she barely conceals a glare meant for the man she refers to as 'Father' in public.

For tonight, she is finally alone and her curiousity is piqued by the things that the Doctor had done- he had kissed her nipples without biting, he had surprised her by tickling her clit, and he had fingered her without making it hurt. She experiences her first orgasm alone and the sensation is actually not unpleasant-

but what is truly pleasant is when her 'father' gives her news during breakfast; until her period is over, she will not be delivered to any clients.

Good.

If she has to serve anyone, she prays for it to be someone like the Doctor. It's the closest she could get to missing someone, she supposes that the three nights she's spent in Doctor Gus' bed were... nice...

Doctor Gus comes to visit again the next month and he's accompanied by a woman, another doctor- a surgeon named Pen. The woman fixes her broken nose, and the woman also starts to teach her things; she opens Hanji's eyes to the truth.

"Please a man to get power over them."

"Learn how he wants to be loved, use that as your weapon."

"Make them love you; they must believe that they'll never find anyone else like you."

"Holding their trust is the way to holding their heart."

"Benefit in every way you can, become their weakness."

* * *

**Sina, Age 15**

This has got to be the most ridiculously lavish treatment given to her by any of her clients, Hanji thinks as she soaks in the warm pool of fresh goat milk. She hasn't even met the client yet but he's already showing off-

"Are you enjoying yourself?" a smooth baritone voice asks.

Hanji looks at him, recognizing him instantly, she smiles, "Mhhmmm."

Who would've thought that her carriage for the night would deliver her to the abode of King Fritz' bastard son. The man is a couple of years younger than Mister Zoë but Hanji never once thought that the two men could be swimming in the same pond- or preying, really. King Fritz' bastard son seems so much more refined in the public eye, how disappointing.

"How about Daddy? I just killed yours recently, there's no risk for you to be confused."

"E-excuse me?"

"Mister Zoë owed me money, he was almost finished paying it back but I got so tired of waiting," the older man pierces her with a look, "You won't make me wait, will you?"

"O-of course not, Mister-

"Master," he corrects her. Hanji swallows audibly in fear as his left hand touches her right shoulder; "Step out of the tub."

Hanji thinks she's severely underestimated his strength as he manages to place her form against him in a single lift, lifting her by the right armpit and left thigh. She's forced to wrap her legs around his waist as he starts licking the droplets of warm milk from her collarbones, distracting her as his thick cock parts her warm walls in one smooth motion.

He starts thrusting and Hanji can only hold on for dear life; she looks down at the cold area where their body meets and she sees a glittering gold band worn by his cock. It's a cock ring- a fairly useless item, in Hanji's opinion.

Just as she predicts: Doctor Pen's vitamins have her walls tight, doing their job as she clenches, making his movements faster and wilder. Everyone gets off when Hanji's cunt starts holding their cocks desperately like a vice- she knows she does good work.

To her surprise, he stops and starts walking towards the bed, "Kneel and put your hands on the headboard."

Both of his hands are kneading her breasts- she's becoming quite overstimulated but it's nothing she can't handle. Her sticky thighs are bracketing his own, her tailbone is bumping above his navel for every aggressive thrust he makes and she can feel him licking parts of her nape. It starts in that position, with Hanji upright and facing the wall- but his thrusts and stamina are unwavering. She moans as she allows herself to orgasm but she's no longer upright, and she doubts that he's nearing his end.

He fixes Hanji's position after her first orgasm, now she's properly laying on the bed, legs spread wide like how she's usually taken by her clients. Doctor Pen makes absolutely sure that Hanji keeps the allure of being a young girl- her vagina is nothing less than fresh, pink, smooth and taut. The bastard Fritz shows his appreciation by planting an unexpected kiss on the heart of her cunt, making her release a beautiful moan like the wanton slut that she is.

He kneels between her, his cock re-enters her again without preamble, re-starting the rhythm of his thrusts like he hasn't broken it. He leans down to latch his lips on her nipple, he suckles like a newborn- purposefully lapping around the bud, he's after the drying milk from her body and it's arousing her further. Hanji's cunt is growing more and more sensitive as he continues in their strong pace.

His other hand stops playing with her other breast so his mouth can start with the new unlicked mound; his available hand finds her clit, he pinches it hard before he starts properly playing with it: he tugs it, tickles it, rubs and massages it.

He pinches her clit again and she moans for him, arching her back as her second release hits her, consuming her. He moans with her, allowing strings of that warm cum shoot into her passage, filling her as her ankles lock behind him; his warmth spreads all over her, and she's so needy for it.

"Auhhh yes..." she says in triumph, gyrating her hips when she finds that his cock is still rock-hard. "Fuck me, master!"

It's like a switch is flipped on when the word leaves her mouth, he immediately carries her out of the bed and towards a specific part of the room. A metal bar is above their heads, she takes the initiative to grab it and this pleases him as he fucks into her with an enthusiasm she didn't know he could possess.

He's like an animal as he destroys her against the wall, making her feel so much more pleasure when his hands and lips keep traveling all over her. This man is restless, Hanji closes her eyes, her moans joining the harmony of skin slapping skin.

He can probably go until morning and she wouldn't be surprised if that's a fact, but her hands release their hold over the bar causing her to impale herself on his cock so hard that she releases her cum for a third time with a jolt.

"You're not getting tired, are you?"

"A little bit, Master."

He hums in consideration, swipes a finger to her cunt before he pops the digit into his mouth. "You're delicious."

"Am I?"

He doesn't answer, instead they go back to the bed, "Lay on top of me," he directs.

She follows- he's got hard muscles for an older man. He moves her so her cunt is in the position of his mouth, "Suck," he says.

So she does, he's lapping at her cunt, sucking her cum while she's deep-throating his cock. Suddenly he inserts his index finger inside her while his thumb and tongue are busy with her clit; she's groaning around his dick due to the heavy pressure that's building despite having just orgasmed seconds ago.

He notices and takes his fingers from her clit to her ass, shocking her but allowing her to focus more on her task. Moments pass to the point where her ass is stretched enough to accommodate him, so he moves them again. She's on her hands and knees, presenting him with her anal passage.

Their intercourse stretches and he's still not soft, so he arranges for her to ride him instead but he doesn't want to fuck her cunt again. This isn't the first time that a man wants his cum in her ass.

* * *

"I own you now."

"really?"

"Yes. You can go back to your father's home but when I'm back, I'll send a carriage to pick you up. You'll be here, in my villa, as my mistress but never in the King's palace. Every time we meet, I'll return some amount of your father's money. The money he owed me, the money that you earned."

"Okay... but... Mister Zoë isn't really my father... He claimed that my mother is a slut, and that I should pay for it."

"You might be right but that doesn't mean that what he's done to you is also right. Your real father is from the Survey Corps. He's long dead."

"How do you know that?"

"I was the third competitor for your mother's affections," he sighs, wrapping his arm around her, "You are much beautiful and you also have your father's height. You are young yet already a blooming flower."

* * *

Hanji's illegal affair with Antoine Fritz lasts until she's seventeen, he dies trying to save his daughter from a large fire that devastated the King's Palace. The King is described by the newspapers to have been terribly burnt, mostly the lower half of his body- the cause of the fire is unknown; Hanji cries when the newspapers also confirm the death of her Master.

Later on, she chastises herself because she feels ridiculous for feeling sad about losing a client. She could start again if she wants to but she's currently financially stable- sure, she doesn't have any source of income, but she legally owns the house and the money she already has can last her for one to two years and if she's careful, maybe even thee. Where could she possibly find anyone willing to hire her when her education stopped after thirteen?

Her father stopped paying for school fees when he had to start paying for Doctors Gus and Pen's services. All her knowledge that's unrelated to human intercourse is gained from the books in their library. There's practically no line of work that's more on skills than anything else-

Inspiration strikes.

The military, of course.


	2. Morality of Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Being a woman in a men's world can either be very hard or very special."  
> \- Disha Gupta

**Rose, Age 22**

One of the perks of sleeping with a squad leader is waking up in a private quarter, not in a bedroom with ten or so other squad members unintentionally invading her personal space. Hanji stretches her limbs, yawning as she untangles herself from the sheets- her bed partner's hand is quick to grab her wrist, "You're forgetting something," the golden-haired man says.

She rolls her eyes with a blank face, placing a quick morning kiss to his lips. Sleepy blue eyes open to greet her along with an amused smile, "I meant your glasses, Hans."

"That's a new one," she says.

New, like her glasses. New, like this relationship. New, like her life.

* * *

She originally planned to join the Garrisons, dismissing the idea of being in the MP Brigade despite graduating sixth in her class, but then Keith Shadis and Erwin Smith paid the cadets a visit on graduation day with the latter looking to recruit. She asked him a question, "Why did you choose to join the Survey Corps?"

His heartfelt answer touched something inside her, inspiring her to write down _'Survey Corps'_ impulsively on her form in the last second, and it absolutely has nothing to do with her so-called birth father dying for their cause. Erwin Smith really believes that every expedition is progress being made- she sees it as all horseshit now, of course but his bravery and confidence is infectious.

Erwin Smith has a numerable amount of amiable traits that made her want him, and for months she's like a planet in orbit around this object, daring him to fall into her atmosphere. She flirts with him for months, but she makes it a point to be friendly with everyone in the Survey Corps; she's a new face so none of them really knows her, not even the other six she graduated with and are with the Corps now too.

As soon as she found out that both of his parents were teachers, she saw an opportunity and took it; "I'd love to learn from your mother, if I could. I never finished my education," she remembers telling him. She pulled the _'I'm an orphan'_ card and before she knew it, he's taken her to meet his mother.

"Thank you for talking to me, Missus Smith," she told the woman after she spent their first meeting being talked at about the sciences of the old world.

"You should've met my husband, he's a compassionate teacher with unlimited patience for children," Elia tells her.

That day was Erwin's day off and he spent the whole of it by sitting with a cold cup of tea, looking over Hanji's shoulder as they read his mother's book together. The day ends with him carrying a belted set of illegal textbooks that his mother lent to Hanji- it was sort of like a first date, actually.

It became tradition for them to visit his mother, and she can only imagine what he'll do for her if they become more than friends. She realizes then that she's starting to care for Erwin as a friend, seeing him beyond the benefits he would bring as a potential sexual partner. It motivated her to try harder in getting into his bed- but after the first couple of times being acquainted with his impressive member, Erwin wanted more.

He wanted stability, he wanted to be Hanji's exclusive partner, he wanted to be in a committed relationship- Hanji hasn't given him an answer yet, silently unsure if that's what she wants -if she's really going for him.

For now, she's content with the multitudes of textbooks that his mother provides her- the glasses were simply a consequence of pursuing her new reading hobby every chance she gets, even through the night, post-sex with Erwin's light snores in the background.

* * *

"Attention Everyone!" Commander Shadis calls out, "From today, these three will fight alongside you all," he says before addressing the new members, "Introduce yourselves!"

The standoffish male in the center speaks first, "The name's Levi," he says nonchalantly without uncrossing his arms.

"Levi, eh? The first thing you'll need is some goddamn discipline... Next!"

"I'm Isabel Magnolia," a red haired girl steps forward, "nice to meet'cha."

The last one, another male, bothers to do the salute but butchers it so terribly even Hanji cringes, "My name is Farlan Church."

These three were the ones that tried to attack Erwin in his little foray into the underground, Hanji's already a bit displeased at them because they were the cause of a recent grievance in fumbling with the first aid kit as she tried to stop a fresh wound from bleeding again. She admits to hating it when Erwin has to go on another mission right after an expedition of battling titans but what's so special about these three that he couldn't put it off until he's fully healed?

"Flagon, these three will be assigned to your squad. Look after them."

Well, she guesses that she'll find out soon, then. Hanji looks at her squad leader, "M-my squad, sir?" he stutters.

"Are you dissatisfied?"

"No, sir."

* * *

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Flagon asks as he, Moblit and Hanji decide to test this Levi's skills with the 3DM gear. "Those blades weren't designed to be held like that. Do you want to die moments after you step out of those walls?"

Levi turns his back on them, "That just might happen to you," he retorts. "All I have to do is slice the Titan's neck, right?" he sends them a look, "I'll do it my way," he states with determined conviction.

Levi takes off without a warning-

Hanji follows suit, if that piece of trash thinks he can leave them in the dust, he's wrong. No one knows this fact about Hanji except Erwin but Hanji doesn't simply use the 3DM gear for the sake of using it, she uses it to fly- she uses it to taste the _freedom_. She soars through dangerous heights with great speed, feeling the wind whip past her; she's crazily obsessed with the feeling that she trains every other day before the sun has the chance to rise to provide her with utmost privacy as the sky is colored with pinks, oranges and fading hints of purple, cool morning dew everywhere. Erwin hasn't berated her for wasting gas reserves yet because he's more intrigued with the unique style of her mobility that only he's witnessed so far, and he says to her one morning, "You look quite happy up there."

She simply grabs an apple for breakfast and states, "I was free."

It's easy for her to catch up with the underground thug; she's there to witness him slash through the fake titan's nape before Flagon. She swings, making for the same branch he lands on and putting a hand on his shoulder before he has a chance to leave, "Oi, do you even understand what _'Reform'_ means?"

He shrugs her hand off of him, "Tch."

Maybe he'll die in the next expedition.

* * *

It's one of those lazy mornings, days after the three so-called Reforms have joined the Corps, and Hanji is still naked in Erwin's quarters since she already practiced her skills on the 3DMG yesterday.

She's laying on her stomach with only a thin white blanket covering her body, casually tying her brunette hair into a loose side braid; she's just about to get up and gather her clothes when she hears the doorknob turn. She smiles, expecting Erwin-

"Ah!" she screams when it's a different golden-haired male who enters. "Get the fuck out! What in Titan hell!"

Furlan Church is frozen where he stands, his cheeks red with embarrassment but her yelling already caught the attention of his co-conspirators, both of whom stares at her like the dumbasses she believes them to be. She snarls at them, "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing here, Underground scum!" modesty be-damned, only she would be crazy enough to grab her blades and throw them in the trio's direction.

The girl gets nicked in her left arm but that's not enough, unfortunately before Hanji can attack again Erwin appears from the hall; "What's going on here?" he asks, anger in his voice.

"That pervert was watching me sleep! You suspected that someone was in your office last night- now they're invading your sleeping quarters! _Our_ sleeping quarters!" She tells Erwin with a touch of hysterics.

"That's not true!"

Hanji lets out a sob, locking eyes with Erwin as her eyes fill with tears, "I fell asleep when you got up, like I always do but then I woke up and he was there..." She lets out a shaky breath before continuing, "I was so scared, Erwin, I don't feel safe with them snooping around, this could happen again, and who knows what else they could do."

Levi gives her the deadliest of glares behind Erwin as the Squad Leader takes the blanket off of the floor and collects Hanji's clothes from where they hang at the back of his chair. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Get dressed, okay?" he instructs, kissing the top of her head as he covers her up.

Erwin faces the trio and Hanji sends Furlan a smug and satisfied smirk with a small shake of her head, if they think Erwin doesn't have his suspicions on them then they're dumber than she thought. "You three are coming with me to the Commander."

In the end, Furlan is sentenced to the Cadet Corps for six months of suspension under charges of inappropriate behavior; he'll be trained and treated like any other new enlistee instead of a Reformed soldier. Levi and Isabel are given a lighter sentence with six months serving directly under Keith Shadis' command, officially without a squad but with a tighter leash instead under charges of invading privacy.

Levi and Isabel felt that one thing is now made clear about this mission- Hanji Zoë is a problem that would need to be dealt with.

* * *

Today is this year's 23rd Expedition.

Hanji puts her hood over her head as the rain starts beating down on them-

"When it rains, it pours, neh, Zoë?" Flagon asks as the weather worsens. Her squad leader's been 'friendlier' with her since the incident with Church in Erwin's room had spread among the scouts.

"You keep talking like that and you're gonna jinx-

She's cut off by the sound of spool wire being released behind her; it's Moblit taking off as he spots a Ten-meter class heading in their direction. Were they already in unexplored areas?

Hanji takes off as well, and soon the valley is filled with echoes of her comrades whizzing through the air, presumably killing titans in the vicinity if the mix of mist and Titan steam is any indication. It feels like she's been fighting for hours, and she could very well be; Nobody expects for there to be a number of titans akin to a whole cluster causing several squads to be separated-

She hears someone in her immediate right scream in panic and without hesitating, she dives into the trees despite the area being covered in darkness, mist and shadows not even considering that her vision is compromised. Arriving to the scene, she stares at Moblit, now being held by what seems to be an abnormal titan sniffing him. The abnormal Titan is sitting like a toddler, not paying Hanji any mind as it continues to inspect Moblit, holding him by his leg while what Hanji sees to be Moblit's horse is on the Titan's other hand, crushed dead.

* * *

"What happened to this?" Hanji asks, tracing a finger to the thin cut around Erwin's neck.

"I haven't been honest with you, I knew from the start what those three were tasked to do- Levi tried to kill me, Mike wasn't fast enough. I told him that the documents he was after had already made it to General Zackly-

Hanji tsked, "Those underground scums! I ought'a-

"Hanji, I'm still alive. We've lost a lot of our numbers today... And Isabel, she's among the people who died from the Titans that attacked the commander's personal party. Leave him be," Erwin tells her.

She harshly dabs the antiseptic over his neck which makes Erwin visibly wince, "Tell me what's his punishment, then," she demands. When Erwin doesn't answer, she picks up the warm cloth and throws it to his face, "That's it- I'm done. I can't do this anymore," she exclaims as she quickly exits to get her own wounds treated.

It's like fate is trying to tell her something when she enters the infirmary and one of the beds is occupied by Levi himself. The attending nurse is busy with someone else; Hanji clenches her fists and approaches.

"You've got some nerve, scum," she murmurs low enough for only him to hear.

His head shots quickly to her direction, "At least I'm not someone's chick on the side."

Hanji scoffs, "Is that the best you got? And here I thought that the underground citizens are dangerous... Ah, but your insults aren't even half as offending as the horde of Titans we just faced, hm. You're just as weak, just as fragile, just as equally helpless and equally dead as the rest of us- you're irrelevant now and you will die irrelevant. So what if you survived your first expedition? You'll die, just like your little girlfriend-

"Shut up!" He yells, causing the rest of the individuals in the infirmary to look at them in surprise.

Hanji simply retreats to an empty bed as far away from him as possible. She can feel his glare on her and she's pretty sure that he really wants to kill her right there- but she's not scared. She's angry.

* * *

She's promoted to Squad Leader when the headcount for the 26th Expedition held a few months later confirms the untimely death of Flagon, this new title makes Levi look at her nastily every chance he gets. There are still whispers going around that she only became a Squad Leader because she's sleeping with Erwin- and in some other ridiculous rumors -with the commander.

The truth is, she hasn't had sex with anyone since formally breaking it off with Erwin- it all comes down to her not wanting to commit and him not wanting the things that she wants; they've also noticed the frequency of disagreements going up and they didn't want it to escalate into arguements or fights, they chose to preserve their friendship instead.

This is nothing like her days in the Training Corps where she gets a plethora of advantages just from two or three partners. The Survey Corps is more solemn and tight-knit with each other, and there's also no shirking of duties allowed either. Luckily, ever since she saved Moblit's life, the man's been friendlier- and not in the same sense that Flagon tried to be.


	3. Head above water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink."  
> \- Gina Carey
> 
> TW: Guns, poison, mentions of child trafficking
> 
> The quote is originally meant for chapter 2 but I found another quote better suited for that chapter as I was looking for a quote suited for this chapter. I would love for you guys to really read and understand what the quotes are and what the chapter themes are trying to say.

**Rose, Age 23**

"Here you go," Hanji says as she drops off the tome about Chinese culture, "Thanks again!"

He watches her about to go, "Uh, Hanji, for a moment...?" he hesitantly speaks.

"Hm?"

"The King is holding a social event for his grand-daughter's sixteenth birthday. Commander Shadis has entrusted me with the task of commandeering people to join me in representing the Survey Corps..." Erwin trails off.

Hanji smiles, "He wants you to shmooze the nobles hm?"

"Well, when you put it like that," Erwin chuckles lowly, "I was wondering if you'd like to join us? If you wouldn't mind accompanying me? It's just that, you were from Sina and I thought you'd know how to better maneuver the social climate there..."

"I... Erwin, I can't. I've told you this before, I had to take care of myself without help. I'm so... different from those men- I mean, people." Hanji tries to reason; she's cautious about seeing her father's acquaintances again, remembering how they treated her as nothing more than someone to service them.

"Hanji, you're a proper military personnel now and with your own squad to lead. I'd say you've achieved more than anyone of those people."

"Erwin, I'm sorry... but I just can't, alright?"

"Oh, I understand."

Hanji turns tail immediately, but she bumps into someone on the way out- it's a shocked Farlan. She's been avoiding him since he got back, she continues to do so now, scurrying away. Eventually she'll have to talk to the former thug if what Erwin and Mike have been preaching is true- if they truly are genuine in being true members of the Corps.

The chance to talk comes sooner rather than later as he stumbles upon her doing her laundry in the communal spring. He makes to go back but it's like the guilt has been eating at her for too long.

"Farlan, wait!" she calls out.

He stops but doesn't turn to face her, "I'm sorry I got you into trouble. And I'm sorry about Isabel's death."

His back posture stiffens like males usually do when they're about to explode with emotions. Hanji takes this as a sign to continue engaging, "They think of me as some type of slut now and y'know what's funny? Those rumors... I've never slept with Commander Shadis but I've thought about it in my own twisted way of wanting to get ahead... but to get ahead for what? All of us here in the Survey Corps, aren't we all fighting for the advancement of humanity? I'm sorry for giving you a bad reputation before you even got a chance to-

"Stop."

"I-

Farlan cuts in, he turns, focusing his gaze on her face and not her body, "You're not wrong to hate us in the beginning; did you think that was the first dirty job we had to do? He's not even the second or third person we're paid to kill. You were only trying to be cautious."

"I'm still sorry though, and I will try to make it up to you-

"I'm not the type to hold grudges, but Levi... you should watch out for him," Farlan gives her a nod, "Separating us when you couldn't get rid of us was a smart move."

"...Thank you, it was a spur of the moment thing-

"Hey, Hanji, can I call you Hanji?" at her nod, he continues, "Actually, there is something that I think you can do for us but I'll have to run it by Levi first."

"O-Okay."

She hopes it isn't anything illegal.

* * *

It's definitely something illegal: the two thugs- mostly Farlan, asked her if she could help them sneak down to the underground and then back up after they deal with some unfinished business with their gang. Hanji couldn't say no, she felt obligated, intrigued at the idea of diving into the mysterious Underground City. She had a particular dream in her early teens, thinking she could run the distance that's separating her house from the Capital City of Mitras and then hiding below ground level- she's past dreaming of that now, obviously.

"Jan!" Farlan bolts to approach someone, Hanji clutches her black jacket tighter as the night's cold breeze is only half as cold as Levi's stare.

The standoffish male is leaning on the entrance, "What'd you do to the MP's? Sweet-talk 'em?" Levi asks quietly.

"The King is having a party tonight, there's supposed to be two guards per end. I thought we could knock 'em out or something, I wasn't expecting for them to be gone. I guess that says a lot about the difference between the Brigades, Garrisons and Corps."

"Tch-

"Boss!"

Levi's expression changes from very to mildly annoyed, "Jan," he acknowledges. "Let's go."

Hanji trails behind them, watching them descend the stairs in the dark, trying to copy them. Eventually after a lot of steps, they reach a short tunnel, she can see a dim source of light at the end and she walks faster to be at pace with her companions. Before they can reach the end, however, they hear voices-

familiar voices to Hanji.

"Retiring already, Saye?"

"Bad night to gamble, Can't be too drunk because of tomorrow either. And you, Mihail?"

"I'll wait for Tristan so he can keep watch here. He's not too drunk, is he?"

The question is met with a laugh.

Hanji uses her left arm to stop the three from proceeding, she puts her right index to her lips before pointing to herself. Levi raises an eyebrow, Farlan nods to indicate that he understands and they duck back to the turn connecting the stairs and short tunnel. Hanji walks out;

"Can I pass, Gentlemen?"

"Neh?" It takes a second for the two to recognize her, gasping when they do.

"Hanji-chan?" Saye greets her.

Mihail's greeting is much different, he stares and asks, "Is it really you?"

Hanji laughs, "Missed me huh? It shouldn't be too hard to believe that I'm here, I'm a Squad Leader now, after all."

"That's good to hear, Hanji-chan. Congrats, but be careful, alright?"

Saye nods, "What're you doing here?"

"What? Didn't your Commander already say? Maybe he's just forgetful. The Survey Corps always have the lowest number of new members from the Training Camps, now we have to come to the Underground and investigate any possible 'Reforms' to recruit. I'm here to ask you guys more about it since Commander Shadis entrusted us the task it, I want to find someone I can succeed in recruiting too. Maybe Saye can help me for an hour or so? If you're not too keen on retiring, I've had night shifts as well, during our expeditions."

"Ah, sure! I can help!"

"Great! Between the two of us, it shouldn't be too hard to deal with just one. We'll see you in an hour, Mihail."

She links her arm with her tipsy friend, pulling him away- she prays that Farlan, Levi and that Jan person got the hints she's dropped. Hopefully they don't resort to killing Mihail or anything too terrible.

* * *

After asking Saye who else, besides Tristan, is drinking tonight, she asks him to lead her to the establishment, claiming that she'd like to greet their comrades from the 94th cadet corps. She makes sure that Saye, Tristan and Dyme were drunk enough before the hour ends so she can leave without their notice. She returns to the tunnel leading to the 11th staircase, unsurprised when there's no sign of either Mihail or Farlan and Levi.

She starts to get worried when another hour passes by and still nothing. The distant sound of someone playing the harmonica makes her want to get comfortable in the ground. Overtime, she goes from simply leaning on the wall to sleeping on the ground- she's awaken several minutes later.

"Hanji! Oi, Hanji! Oi, oi!" Farlan kicks her into waking.

Her eyes immediately widen upon seeing Farlan with a bloody shouler and Levi heavily leaning on him, much more bloody and barely conscious. The sound of guns firing is enough to make her shot up from the ground, Farlan proceeds to run through the tunnel with Hanji on his tail, scared of what had happened.

"Hanji, where do I take him? We can't afford the services of a hospital and Erwin can't know!" Farlan starts to panic as soon as they're out of the Underground.

"We need to get him to lay down so we can put pressure on his wounds-" She spots a wagon parked outside a closed bakery, "There! Get him there, I'll get us to my house."

It takes longer than it should to cross the Twenty-seven kilometers to get from Capital City to the Zoë's ancestral manse; she's too used to being the passenger, not the coachman. Another dilemma confronts her when they arrive, the manse is locked and the key isn't on her person. Farlan watches her jump back into the wagon, making their way to the backdoor; she hops down with haste because Levi's not conscious anymore, and she kicks the backdoor once, it doesn't give, so she tries a second time.

Farlan catches on to what she's doing and kicks the door with her on the third try, the wooden door breaks to reveal her tiled kitchen- Farlan ignores how large the room is as he hurries to get Levi. Hanji helps him carry his friend from the wagon to the dining area; the wooden table fits Levi perfectly with decent space left.

"I have a contact that can help but he'll be a while. Where was he shot?" Hanji asks

Farlan doesn't answer, only takes a knife out and proceeds to cut off Levi's white button-up. One on the bottom left of his abdominal muscle, One on the upper left arm and the last is on his outer-left shoulder blade.

"He took the third bullet, that one was meant for me; they shot at us twice each. Someome from the gang's inner circle betrayed us- but we've already paid them their last cut so we're _never_ going back there anymore." Farlan's only gunshot wound is on his right-inner shoulder blade.

"You should lay down, wait here," Hanji takes her father's favorite leather arm chair and drags it to the kitchen. She presents it to Farlan, "Rest, I'll be back with the doctor. I don't think there's any food here, but it's yours if you find any."

* * *

It takes thirty minutes to find the surgeon, Doctor Pen, and another thirty minutes to convince the Doctor to come since it's still dark out; upon arriving, the doctor is quick to take out her tools in the surgical bag upon seeing Levi's state on the dining table.

"I have the money, please don't let them die-

"I know, child. Stay quiet, please."

She forgot that about Doctor Pen- that the woman likes working in silence. Maybe that's where Hanji got the quirk of talking at people, having been used to one-sided conversations when she was a child. Doctor Pen has always been such a solid woman, someone that talks bluntly to Hanji and to anyone else; the woman has more noticeable gray hairs now and it suits her just like her white coat does even though she's of a younger age than she looks. Hanji remembers sending her flowers some two or so years ago for the Doctor's 32nd Birthday, maybe she should do that again? Every sad woman needs someone in a men's world.

Hanji places a hand on Farlan's left shoulder, "He'll be alright. By the time I'm back, he'll be good as new."

Farlan nods at her with a tiredness she's only seen before on the faces of old veterans like Shadis or Pixis, together they've experienced situations worse than any of the active-duty soldiers in the MP Brigades combined.

She leaves her manse less a saddle and wagon after a quick visit to her vault- previously Mister Zoë's -to take some money out so she can buy food since Farlan didn't say anything about finding some. She knows a few shops around the area that starts their businesses as the sun rises, she wants to stand on the horse for a better view since she slightly missed her home and want to see all of it, but then she remembers that she's not riding a horse meant for the riding style of the Survey Corps and she simply grins at how far she's come now.

She returns with a basket full of food: apples, breads, beef and chicken meat, eggs and a couple of sweet pastries.

"There'll be moderate trauma from the abdomen, and expect him to get a fever soon. He's otherwise fine even though I recognized the bullets to have poison that would put the victim under a heavy sleep," Doctor Pen says after Hanji hands her the payment, "This one is grazed and had one bullet wound, he'll fare much better. Expect him to recover within three months, more or less- less if he avoids stressing the wound."

"And the black-haired one?"

"It depends on the trauma, could take a year or longer. Usually it's longer with criminals like him, he's a gang leader, isn't he?"

"Yes..."

"I thought you found yourself a better life, why get involved again?"

"I wasn't, I'm just helping; they're both in the Corps with me. Not everyone had a good childhood, I guess. They left their gang today and someone mustn't have liked that."

The older woman nods, finishes packing her tools and says, "I don't want you to come to me again if it only means that you're in trouble. It'll be good if you can just visit for the sake of visiting, you're one of my favorites, you know..."

Jokingly, she smiles, "Oh, there are others? I didn't know."

The Doctor scoffs.

"Thank you, Doctor, for your services."

She watches the doctor leave, not in the direction of her home but somewhere else, Hanji is suddenly filled with sadness at the thought that child-trafficking is still a prominent crime in Sina- and Sina's supposed to be a wealthy community. She can only imagine what crimes go on in the outer walls; it's for certain that she's not the only victim of fate.

* * *

He coughs himself awake, wincing as parts of his body feel painfully sore: he's in a room with fancy red decor, the bed has it's own deep maroon drapes, the curtains have gold tassles and the walls are polished marble. The bed itself is huge, seeing as it fits himself and Farlan quite fine with more room to spare. He also spots a portrait of someone that must be Hanji Zoë's father, they didn't look anything alike.

He pauses to stare at the woman sleeping on a black armchair with her feet up on the mattress; he remembers her driving the wagon to her house- which must be where he is now. He tries to sit up, letting out a groan of pain, only then did he notice a gauze on his arm and side each, and feeling a last gauze attached on his back.

He sighs.

At least he's alive. Maybe he shouldn't have went.


	4. Inner Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A true friend is the best possession."  
> \- Benjamin Franklin

**Sina, Age 23**

It’s the morning after the King’s party, and the morning for the 34th expedition. Hanji doubts she’d make it back in time to explain the events to Erwin thus she thinks of simply writing him a letter, but unfortunately she’s not as skilled in writing as she likes to believe so she puts it off for now.

Farlan wakes up from the leather armchair and raises a brow at her-

She slept in the kitchen with them after she dragged the couch from the living room so the furniture can hold up the backdoor, blocking entry; she’s sure none of them slept comfortably last night. "Why don’t we make some breakfast before we move Levi to my father’s bedroom?" she suggests.

"Why to your father’s bedroom?"

"There are only three guest rooms and they’re all probably dirty since they haven’t been used for more than five years. My father’s bedroom is big; it would fit both of you comfortably."

"Okay," he gives her a thumbs up.

After an hour, they're both sitting on opposite sides of the couch with a plate of cheesy bacon omelette each, Farlan speaks as he bites into an apple while his omelette is still too hot; "Do you think he'll wake up soon?"

Hanji hesitates to tell him not to talk with his mouth full, she shrugs. "I hope so. I don't know how to tell Erwin about all of this..."

"Ah, thanks for coming through for us... You're a real boss!" Farlan gives her a proper military salute.

Hanji smiles; sadly, Levi doesn't wake up for the whole day which allows Farlan and her to spend the day together, joking around as they dust, wipe and clean the master's bedroom for two hours. All of the bedrooms are located in the second storey of the house, which means it took teamwork and great effort for the two awake occupants to carry the retired gang leader.

Farlan takes a bath after Hanji's taken hers, she made sure the ancient man-made bathing pool still works before having lunch together again: a simple bowl of beef teriyaki on opposite sides of the dining table.

"That was delicious! You're an amazing cook, Hanji," Farlan praises, engaging with her after they spent the time eating in companionable silence.

"That's what you think, but I don't know a lot of recipes and we're lucky I haven't burnt anything yet. At least having kitchen duties in the HQ before I was Squad Leader is good for something..."

Then he sleeps for a bit while Hanji decides to keep busy: she checks on the stolen horse first, just to make sure it's eating and generally doing alright all alone in the manse's stables. She returns the armchair to the living room before deciding to dust the place a bit, then she wipes down the kitchen counters before cooking dinner.

Farlan bounces down the stairs, smiling sleepily at her, "He's awake."

The two of them eat dinner in the bedroom, both cross-legged on the carpet as they eat and observe Levi attempt to finish his chicken meal. The black haired man falls asleep without succeeding but at least he ate some and his temprature feels normal.

* * *

Levi wakes up properly after lunch on the second day of their stay; Hanji wakes up to him blankly staring at the roof of the bed, "You're awake," she dumbly tells him.

He doesn't say anything.

Hanji sees the book that she's been reading is now on the floor, she looks at Levi again, "Uhm, I'll bring you something to eat."

She then leans down to pick up the book, gets up, places the book on her chair and leaves. Before she can pass through the archway connecting the bedroom and receiving room, she hears his voice with his usual monotone.

"Thank you."

It makes her pause in her step but she continues to see herself out. She returns with a bowl of beef noodles for him and an apple for each of them, he doesn't thank her again but he does touch her hand when she collects his dishes.

"Who operated on me?" Levi asks during dinner.

"My doctor, why?"

"Is something wrong?" Farlan asks

Levi blinks, "I thought it was you."

Hanji shakes her head. She watches him as his eyes examine the room while he eats, she thinks he must be bored; she pities him because she's been in his position before- in pain with nothing to do. She's lucky she hasn't died from an expedition yet.

She resolves to finding books for him in the library tomorrow.

"Oi, Squad Leader. Can I cook every meal for tomorrow?" Farlan asks

* * *

She brings Levi some books before Farlan returns from the market but he's proving to be a light sleeper when he suddenly asks, "What're those?"

His eyes are inquisitive even as they squint from the early rays of the sun slipping through the window curtains.

"They're books."

"And?"

"They're for you. So you can read to pass the time while you're stuck in bedrest."

Levi scoffs, "I don't read."

"Well, there's nothing else for you to do. I'm not going to force you to, but these are some of the Zoë's books from the world before the Titans," she tells him with a teasing grin.

"I can't," Levi says with heavy resignation, closing his eyes and frowning.

Hanji then understands, "You... don't know how to read... do you?"

His sigh is answer enough.

"...B-but you're a gang leader..."

"The only thing we know is how to count money, how to haggle and how to fight. Did you think people down there would be considerate- let alone knowledgeable enough to teach miserable little kids to read and write?"

"Apparently they don't teach their children how to respect their elders either," Hanji retorts in a scolding manner.

Levi's gaze snap towards her, "Oi, how old do you think I am, shitty-glasses?"

 _'Erwin wouldn't have recruited him if Levi isn't at least fifteen,'_ Hanji thinks because the minimum Training Corps enlistee age requirement is thirteen so they're fifteen or sixteen when they graduate- depending if they train for two or three years. "You're older than sixteen, right? Are you eighteen, nineteen, maybe?"

"I'm twenty-five, you little shit!"

Hanji's mouth opens but no words come out.

"Yeah, you disrespectful brat-

Hanji cuts him off, "You're... a whole year older than Erwin..."

"and?"

Hanji shakes her head, taking the books into her arms again. She heads straight back to the library, determined now to rectify Levi's illiterate situation. Time passes with her just scouring the library, a table now filled with beginner-level books.

"Squad Leader! Breakfast is ready!" She hears Farlan calling her from the bedroom, "Where are you, Squad Leader?"

* * *

"What's that?"

Farlan grins up at her, "It's a fancier version of my mother's gruel! I might've gone all-in with the herbs thanks to the budget you gave me, aha ha..."

"That's okay, Farlan. So you guys eat this in the Underground?"

Farlan nods, "Oi, Levi. Didn't you say your favorite is gruel of my cooking?"

Levi rolls his eyes, "I lied."

"Farlan, you can read, right?" Hanji asks as she sits cross-legged to eat on the minimalistic dining table again. She swears that it's the only simple thing Mister Zoë ever owned and it's not even from his culture, seeing as Asians are practically extinct.

Levi watches them as he eats from the bed. Farlan answers with a wide grin, "Better than Levi. It's why I'm the one who had to search for the documents. Why?"

"Do you want some self-help books to read better?"

"Er- what brought this on?"

"I'm going to teach Levi how to read and I want you to help me," she states firmly.

* * *

It’s nearly the end of the week by the time she’s finally come up with a passable explanation to write and give to Erwin that he could pass on to Commander Shadis. The letter is more than a little late, partly due to putting it off and because she almost forgot it with how determined she is to teach Levi the alphabet characters.

She isn't sure if Erwin will be furious with worry or just furious in general, and the fact that she missed an expedition when it’s not her squad's turn for a leave makes her worry for her military career. Keith Shadis isn't the type to let things slide, and she's still yet to read the book about the Survey Corps' rules and regulations, specifically the section for court-martials (mostly because the Headquarters' library only has the one copy).

> _To Squad Leader Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps_
> 
> _I’m safe. Levi and Furlan were shot, I felt obligated to help them finish their business in the Underground because of how I’ve ostracized them in the beginning. Someone, a noble maybe, isn’t happy that Farlan and Levi are permanently leaving their old gang. They’re both recovering well at the moment and we will all return as soon as they are fit for travel, we’re currently in Zoë’s manse at Sina, near Old Oak’s plaza. I hope this letter finds you in a timely manner; I’m paying the messenger a hefty fee. Please just tell the others that I am currently on a covert mission in The Underground or something. I’m very sorry, Erwin. I promise to accept any consequences that Commander Shadis may have for me because I felt that my actions in this case were necessary for two of our members to remain alive and ready to serve._
> 
> _All my love, Hanji Zoe_

She watches the courier of her letter with a heavy heart, fearful that Erwin wouldn’t be very understanding. Nonetheless, due to Levi and Furlan’s condition, she doesn’t even entertain the idea of abandoning them now or making them go through the trouble of returning to Headquarters.

Three days later, Hanji wakes from someone knocking on the doors of her house. She hopes it’s the carpenter returning with the new back door because she’s tired of sleeping on the couch at nighttime inside the kitchen just to stop potential intruders, instead she opens it to find some people she can consider as her friends: Moblit, Abel, Nifa, Nanaba and Mike.

Nifa and Nanaba embrace her immediately, with one of them tearing up; she then notices that they all have solemn faces, "What’s wrong?" she asks.

Abel answers as he pulls up his goggle-glasses, "Ilse’s dead."

She gasps, "No..."

"We lost contact with their brigade on the way home..."

Out of the six others who graduated in the 94th with her, Ilse had the most compatible personality with Hanji as both were curious girls that made a hobby of writing in the Trainee’s issued journal. Both of them still kept their journals even after graduating, and despite being on different squads, they would sometimes eat together or meet in the library once or twice a month to exchange notes on their observations about Titans and the outside world in general.

It’s unfortunate that the friendship that had potential was simply dismissed when Hanji began to get overwhelmed in the newness of her duties as a Squad Leader; Hanji regrets that now. Ilse Langnar could’ve been a true friend; she shared Hanji’s interests in reading materials that are about the old world.

Hanji embraces the girls more enthusiastically, "Thank you for telling me, and thank you for being here now. I’m glad you’ve returned relatively unharmed..."

"Yeah, I’m glad too. It’s so weird to be a Squad leader," Mike says, finding it odd to have to leave Erwin's squad and have his own.

Hanji doesn't pity him, now that Mike's his own Squad Leader, he will have a lot more duties to attend to that comes with the authority. Hanji is still experiencing the transition of her own promotion as well.

"How did you guys know I was here? The letter was specifically addressed to Erwin."

"It is, but I was the one who delivered it to him," Mike states, "When I mentioned to Nanaba that Erwin got a letter from you, she badgered him about it. She pulled the _‘best friend’_ card, and I could tell Erwin wasn’t telling the truth when he said you were in the middle of a covert mission."

"Aw, Nana-chan," she coos. "That’s so sweet."

Nanaba hugs Hanji tighter, "It was mostly Nifa who did the badgering..."

She lets them all fully enter the manse, moving the conversation to the living room.

* * *

"Well, the truth is, I did go to the Underground. I had to help Levi and Farlan finish their business so their lives wouldn’t be in danger. I think some noble wasn’t too happy-

Before she could finish, Levi descends from the stairs, topless with a towel over his shoulder and with purpling bruises all over.

"The hell?" Abel exclaims in shock.

Levi is also wide-eyed at their presence, he turns to Hanji though. "Farlan said the bathing pool is out back?"

"Who did it?" Mike asks while Hanji nods to affirm Farlan's words.

"A traitor told someone when Farlan, Jan and I were coming back and I don’t think it’s a noble, I suspect that it could be Isabel’s relative- she’s an orphan but she only lost her parents. Maybe it was her Aunt or her cousin that are angry about her death. It’s over now, and we’re never going back there again," Levi firmly tells them.

"Good for you, man!" Abel cheers. Mike hits him over the head, Abel grunts, "The fuck? I’m just saying, it’s good that he’s done. Welcome to the next chapter of your law-abiding, death-defying, military life and all that."

Hanji shakes her head with a fondness as she looks at him.

"But why did it have to be you?" Nifa asks, and then addresses everyone, "Why did it have to Hanji who has to come with them? Why not Erwin or Mike or Moblit?"

Moblit shakes his head, "I'm not getting involved in this."

"Wait, why not me?* Abel asks slightly offended, Nifa raises a brow, "What? Not even gonna consider?"

"You’re a literal comedian, Abel. I don’t think The Underground is any place for your dorky ass," Nanaba answers

"True."

Hanji looks at Levi directly as he hasn't left yet, "I felt like I owed it to Farlan after getting him in trouble. The truth is that he only entered the quarters to find Erwin’s report of Lobov’s crimes with the intention of withholding it because it’s what the three of them were paid to do. He never meant to see the state that I was in, I just took it the wrong way since I was raised to be prejudiced. I know Farlan better now, he’s actually quite the comedian as well and he’s kind..."

"Oh," the girls simultaneously say.

Mike whistles, "With a home like this, who wouldn’t be raised with a bit of prejudice?"

Hanji sighs, "It’s the Zoë’s ancestral manse. It’s mine now but it doesn't feel like it should be. It stopped feeling like home when my mother died..."

"Do you have a library here?" Moblit asks

Hanji nods, "Upstairs, room with the glass door."

"Fancy," Nanaba comments.

"Where’s Farlan, anyways?" Hanji asks

"He went back to sleep, said he's sore today," Levi answers.

"How about I make us all some breakfast?" Nifa asks, then turns to the bespectacled male, "You're helping."

Abel simply nods.

"Alright. I'll show Levi to the baths and you can all make yourself at home," Hanji tells them.

"Do you own that stable outside?" Nanaba asks.

"Yes."

"Oh good, I'm going to take care of our horses."

Mike perks up, "I'll join you."

* * *

"Do you need help?" Hanji asks as she watches Levi's stiff movements while getting himself into the bathing pool. The black of his hair blends in nicely with the gray-black stones of the pool while the sun-bleached wooden dividers also compliments his pale skin.

"I said," Levi repeats, "that it would be nice for you to help, you deaf idiot."

"Ah, yeah. Right, I'm on it." She walks with a little embarrassment coloring her cheeks red due to failing to pay attention because she was too busy admiring his physique.

"Is your bathing pool naturally this warm?"

"The temprature is perfect, isn't it?" she asks smugly.

"Tch," which must mean that he begrudgingly agrees.

The small tea table in the bathing area holds three different glass bottles of soap and two different glass bottles of oil just waiting to be picked. She takes the lemon soap and makes her way back, kneeling behind him. Hanji starts with the right shoulder first because she isn't sure if she should put soap on the wounded shoulder; although it does looks like his stitched wound is healing nicely. Levi hisses in pleasure as she applies soap with some light pressure on him.

"H-hanji... My stitches... The thread should be removed soon..."

"O-okay. I'll call Doctor Pen tomorrow-

"No, _you_ do it. Later."

"Me?"

"I don't mean anyone else, is there another Hanji around here?"

"Oh... Okay... I mean, it's your body," Hanji smiles playfully, "You know, Levi... you sure are fit for an old man..."

* * *

Maybe it’s really time to experience this so-called better life that Doctor Pen thinks she’s living; maybe it’s time to forgive herself for her past and forget her beliefs.

After all, Moblit exists and Erwin, Mike, Abel… maybe even Farlan and Levi can be put on that list, they’ve all been nothing less than true gentlemen to her. Truly, if she can see herself being friends with two former thugs, then she can call the others her friends too, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The caverns under the church where Rod Reiss takes Historia and Eren kinda made me think that maybe Paradis was intentionally built within mountain ranges as well as an extinct volcano. How else are people supposed to bathe if they don't build man-made bathing pools or something?
> 
> The way the underground city looks? It kinda reminds me of how dried-up lava looks like.
> 
> The 94th Training Corps graduates that joined the survey corps: Flagon, Hanji, Nifa, Abel who were put in the same squad. Nanaba and Ilse on different squads.
> 
> Chapter 5:  
> Wall Maria falls, then the expedition for Ilse's journal.


	5. Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A charming woman is a busy woman."  
> \- Loretta Young

"You know, Levi… you sure are fit for an old man," she tells him.

He forgoes telling her to shut up partly in credit to her soft slender fingers massaging soap expertly onto his back. She's the one that's been helping him towel off his sore body every other day during the whole week he's spent in bedrest on the exact same hour Farlan's taking his sweet time bathing- which must have been planned. The warm water Hanji used on him those few times had probably come from this pool as well.

Levi remembers the first time she went to the room with a basin and wash cloth, he was barely awake then but he grabbed her wrist and recalls his exact words, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he had asked her harshly. Right now though, he's clearly at risk of enjoying himself too much that he could possibly fall asleep.

"Close your eyes," she instructs him gently, like she expects him not to obey.

"Why?"

"I'm going to wash your hair," she answers, a few feet away from him already. He didn't even notice that she had gotten up from the ground to get some shampoo.

He closes his eyes and lets himself soak in the warmth of the pool, he's never felt so content in his life, his criminal lifestyle now officially finished. The sudden sound of something splashing into the pool with him gets him to open his eyes-

His breath hitches at the sight.

Her legs and thighs are flawless like porcelain, not as sun-kissed as the rest of her; she's put them in the water, and she's only wearing silk underclothes having taken off her top. "Close your eyes," she repeats to him prettily. Her tone is quiet and breathy, like a whore trying to entice a possible customer.

Levi still obeys- she's his host, she's his superior and he needs to remember those facts to remain completely professional. Oh how the gods must've blessed him with unlimited self-control for it took everything in him to avoid initiating any unnecessary physical contact while his eyes are firmly shut as she angles her legs to lean on his right shoulder so she can have better reach to his hair. He can feel his fingers' want- to touch, to caress, to hold and possibly _experience_ this beautiful, absolutely sinful hell-blessed being.

He's taken by surprise again by an unmistakable feather-light kiss against the left of his nape that occurs in one quick second that he barely manages to process the action as it was done, "Rinse," she whispers to his left ear as she moves herself away from him.

He holds his breath and dives under water before coming back up after giving himself a short moment.

He opens his eyes to see a small smile on her face, his eyes immediately drawn to the lips that had just kissed him. No matter how much he wants to kiss her with his own lips, he denies himself of it- he couldn't afford for things to get complicated after recently getting out of The Underground.

Besides, Squad Leader Smith might not appreciate Levi having relations with his ex-girlfriend or whatever the hell those two were or _are_. His eyes go to her braid instead, it's come undone and it's getting a third of her hair wet.

"Are you getting in?" he chooses to ask, "After, I mean."

She gives him a one-shoulder shrug, "I was due for a bath anyways but I didn't bring a change of clothes like you did," she says as she points to the three horizontal bars of a polished bamboo clothesline where the dry towels are, and where he had hung his clothes.

"I always bathe before I come to clean you, but we stopped doing that four days ago, so my hygiene may have been ignored."

He makes a face- it explains her smell, "Why?"

"Because I was re-organizing the library."

He tugs on a loose hair strand, "Haven't you heard of a hair cut? A Titan could pull you easily with your stupid braid."

She pretends not to have heard him.

* * *

The visitors all do their part in making the three guest bedrooms back into something usable, and Levi had all sorts of advice as they clean the place up- he's apparently very knowledgeable about scrubbing, dusting, and wiping things.

Hanji doesn't expect Levi to knock on her bedroom door hours after dinner. She's about to sleep and he's holding scissors; it's like something out of a murder-mystery novel. "My stitches, Hanji," he reminds her once she's stared at him for too long.

"Oh... Oh! Okay, come in."

She sits him on the white stool matching her white vanity. She doesn't take the scissors from him, rummaging through her drawer instead before holding up the correct pair of surgical tools. Levi doesn't question why she has them but she can feel him thinking about it, he also watches her silently as she sanitizes them as efficiently as possible.

Tending to Erwin is different from simply cutting the thread from Levi's skin; she starts with his left shoulder-blade. "You know, I thought about what you said."

"Hm?"

"About the haircut," she says as she snips and pulls out the thread, glad that he doesn't react.

"W-what're you going to do?"

Hanji rolls up the short sleeve of his shirt, "right now? I want to cut it but I'm scared it'll turn out terrible." He doesn't reply this time as she snips and pulls, "What if I cut your stitches and you cut my hair tonight?"

"I'll see what I can do."

That was as good as an agreement, as it is, Hanji ends the night with her hair no longer serving as her seat warmer. Their comrades react pleasantly to the cut, her hair now just ending mid-back as it’s tied in a low ponytail; it acts as an impromptu second cloak when it was still long- Hanji knows she’s going to miss that, especially when winter season starts.

The visitors only stayed for two more nights before leaving to report back to Commander Shadis; Levi insist that he will be capable of travel in another three days, which Hanji doesn’t deny _is_ a possibility.

* * *

After saying their goodbyes, Hanji retreats to the library for the rest of the morning, she doesn’t expect for Levi to follow her because he’s usually not so inclined to read. Instead of walking to one out of many bookshelves, Levi walks to her, he half-throw and half-slides something to her side of the table. Hanji raises a brow, "I found that in your father’s office. It’s either he had a lot of debt or he was selling something. Which one is it?" Levi asks.

Frowning, Hanji opens the thin book and seeing the contents of the first page tells her immediately what it is- a client logbook. Her face pales as she starts flipping through the pages, literally confronted by evidence of her past and it takes her a bit to reach the last touched page. She inhales sharply, _‘Antoine Fritz’_ with no price next to it is written in Mister Zoe’s familiar scrawl.

She looks up at Levi, knowing that there must be tears in her eyes; she tries to stay aloof as she tells him a bold-faced lie, "He had debts."

Thinking that she must be saddened by these so-called debts, Levi nods and holds up a different book, this one had a title, _‘The Lineages of Nobility, by Sir Krul Ackerman, First Knight of the King,’_ and it is so much thicker than the journal it could almost be considered a tome. "May I read this to you?" he asks it as his own way of cheering her up. His reading comprehension is making good leaps of progress that astounds her compared to his writing prowess; at her nod, he opens the book to where it was bookmarked.

The heading uses a fancy style of printed text but Levi is still able to read it, "House Zoë... This family is of German, French and Danish descent with features such as prominent green eyes, red or brown hair and large physique..."

Hanji spaces out as Levi reads; she even forgets to focus on correcting his pronunciation on certain words.

* * *

**The 38th expedition, 12th month of Year 849. Age 26 (Levi)**

The 38th expedition had turned out to be a particularly terrible experience, enough that Shadis and his personal scouting party were taken off guard when several titans appeared. Levi managed to launch himself in time to catch Keith Shadis when the old man's horse was kicked into the air by an abnormal Titan, he had been lucky that the impact of both the older man's body and the ground against him did not bring any pain; this would be his third expedition since the 33rd and after the Survey Corps’ doctor had declared him fully healed.

Although the doctor couldn’t even figure out where the gun shots were despite having been given a summary of his wounds, thus Levi dubiously trusted his judgement. Levi still believes that Hanji’s doctor or Hanji herself had done something that hastened his healing process, he forgets the fact that he’s always been fast to recover from any wounds he’d had when he was still living in The Underground.

After the expedition is the headcount, which had taken five days in total- longer than normal due to four squad leaders having died. Levi was glad that Hanji, Mike and their squads had survived with only moderate wounds; on the fifth day, Shadis summoned the former gang leader to join a meeting comprised of the squad leaders. There, in front of sixteen squad leaders, Commander Shadis and Squad Leader Erwin chose to give him the title of Captain; a captain is essentially the same rank as a squad leader but they are tasked to lead an elite Special Operations Squad- it’s a position that had been empty for over three Commanders past. Levi would have to hand-pick his own squad members that he could train to immediately respond in order to aid another squad, and his first choice had been easy- Farlan Church, a man like a brother to him and someone he’d have full trust to confidently face off against man-eating monsters.

Levi had later come to seek Hanji’s help in picking the rest and without hesitation she had provided him with a list. Forming a squad is not an overnight job, it took a couple of months but after finding suitable members, Levi had realized that he doesn’t know how to train them with his style of maneuvering the gear- which is how the training hours of Hanji’s own squad began getting scheduled with Levi’s squad on purpose. None of his squad members had noticed yet that Levi forgets to account for gas usage sometimes but Hanji had been watching and observing him and, in private, she would pinpoint how to modify his style into something both of them can teach while still factoring in the speed and response time for the Special Ops Squad to get from one point to another. They couldn’t help other squads if they were moving too slow, and they couldn’t kill a titan if they were going too fast- Levi wanted his squad to be fully operational against the man-eaters.

The fall of Wall Maria came as a tragedy for everyone; the Survey Corps had just gotten back from their 45th expedition and they were tired, their blades are dull, some gears were broken, and everyone needed their gas canisters refuelled before they could fight again. Respect didn’t mean that they have to like the Survey Corps but refugees, especially those from the Shiganshina district realized then what monsters the soldiers from that particular military branch had been dealing with every time they step outside the comfort and safety of The Walls.

It had been a disaster of epic proportions.

Their losses were heavy, and the weight of duty is felt by the Survey Corps more than ever when some began filing for their transfer into the Garrisons branch. Commander Shadis announces his retirement as well; Levi thought an old man who is such a stickler for discipline would last longer in his position, but he supposes that not everyone would have any hope in them left after the tragic event.

* * *

**49th Expedition, 11th month of Year 850. Age 24 (Hanji)**

Hanji stares dumbly when the last Titan to enter the bloodbath in the meadow is now currently running away from them. Erwin, now the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, immediately calls for her squad to go after it but Levi’s squad is closer and they're done dealing with their share of Titans while Mike’s own squad is still finishing off the south-end of the meadow.

"Something’s off," Nifa says the same time Petra states, "Something’s odd, even if it is an abnormal."

The two squads at this point have been wordlessly joined for almost a year now, and can work together with great effectiveness as Hanji’s squad specializes in fighting with weapons like grenades and crossbows firing steel arrows ever since the fall of Wall Maria.

"It’s different from anything that’s been reported thus far."

"No, don’t we call them abnormals _because_ they’re unlike others?"

Levi ends their talk, "It doesn’t matter. We’ll kill it here," he decides despite the determination of the Titan to run away from their pursuit.

The titan leads both groups into a clearing in the forest where it subsequently begins to hit its head against the centermost tree; Commander Erwin and the rest of the party soon arrive to the baffling scene, however, his arrival startles the weird titan and it turns toward them. As it kneels, it half-crawls and with a pained, labored breath, speaks to them, "Greetings... people of Ymir..."

Hanji is so comically entranced by the abnormal that she didn’t move away in time to avoid getting taken by its hand, lucky Erwin reacts fast enough and he kills the being easily as it isn’t too far from him; "Everyone heard what he said, right?"

Hanji’s question goes unanswered as her comrades' stares are unwavering behind her, they were looking at the damaged tree; sitting inside the trunk, like some kind of twisted pyre, is the headless corpse of a Survey Corps soldier. Levi spots something in the dirt as Hanji approaches the corpse, "The armband of the 34th expedition, a soldier who presumably died a year ago named…-

Hanji exhales shakily as she gently falls to stand on the roots of the tree, "Ilse… It’s her corpse, Ilse Langnar."

Levi briefly recalls the name as something he overheard the 94th say, and then he remembers everything else he overheard from the top of the stairs. He flips to the last touched page of the journal, it’s oddly the clearest page while the rest is smudged with blood and dirt; he skims over the contents to confirm that Ilse wrote something about the abnormal titan before handing it over to Hanji.

"No," Hanji refuses it, "I know Ilse would’ve written about that Titan as she died," She gestures to the girl’s corpse inside the tree. "And I think everyone who cares enough should hear her parting words. I suggest we commemorate later, Erwin, if that’s okay?"

Erwin nods, "Read it in the mess hall for anyone who wishes to listen after the expedition. For now, we should focus."

* * *

Hanji and the 94th gather around the front of the Mess Hall, they are soon followed by others that hadn’t forgotten the events of the expedition’s first day, or more specifically, the talking Titan.

"I’ll begin reading now, everyone. _‘My name is Ilse Langnar, I was a part of the 34th expedition, 2nd Brigade in charge of the west column. We encountered Titans on our return. I lost both my squad-mates and my horse... I abandoned my broken gear. I’ll run, heading north. I’ve lost my horse in Titan-controlled lands outside the walls. It’s impossible to escape Titans on foot. N- no comrades I can rely on. Survival is almost hopeless but I may be able to reach the wall without encountering any titans. Right now, I must not allow fear to overcome me.’_ Sorry, I can’t continue," Hanji passes it on to Nifa since the officer is proper friends with Ilse as well as with everyone else. Nifa is like a younger sister to all of them as she's the youngest of the 94th Training Corps.

Nifa nods, " _'This situation is one that I’ve been prepared for since the day I chose the Survey Corps. I am humanity’s Wings of Freedom; I do not fear death as a member of the Survey corps. I will fight to my last breath, even if it means the end of me. I- I have no weapons but I can still fight. I will mark my words on this paper to do whatever I can with all my strength. I will not be defeated... Encountered a titan, six meter class, It won’t eat me right away- an abnormal? M- my time has finally come, this is it. I’ve been doing whatever I want, I haven’t even given anything back to my parents. I’m so unsatisfied-_

Nifa cuts herself off, wide-eyed. "Commander Erwin, I think you should read this."

"Alright," Erwin scans the contents of the journal, nodding once. " _’I’m so unsatisfied. It ends- Just now it talked. A Titan talked. It spoke words with meanings: Ymir’s people, Ymir-sama, Greetings. There’s no doubt about it, this titan changed its expression, it took a position that showed respect towards me. I can’t believe it; for the first time ever, I, a human, spoke with a titan.’_ Abel?" Erwin asks, offering him the journal.

Abel hesitates at first, but breathes in. " _’I inquire him of their existence, moaning sounds, not words. I inquire him of his origins, no response but a blank stare. Then I inquire him of their objective; the titan looked to be crying before clutching and pulling at his face. Why? Why do they- It’s grabbed me, it has a big mouth. Lots of teeth but not sharp, human-like. Its breath stinks but isn’t moist-_ that... that was it. There’s nothing else here."

Levi is the first to break the few seconds of silence, "It seems that the Titans aren’t as mindless as we thought..."

"It seems so," Farlan agrees.

Hanji stands up, shaken, "I... I’m going to d-deliver her body to her family..."

Her Squad Officers, Nifa and Moblit are immediately on side, "I’ll come with you," Nifa decides firmly.

Moblit nods, "The sun hasn’t set yet, we can do it now."

Abel gives Hanji the journal carefully but she takes it and gives it to Erwin. "You can show that to General Zackly, and tell him of what the Titan said to us. The titan called us _‘Ymir’s people,’_ maybe the General would know something or maybe he wouldn’t."

"Is that a request, Major?" Erwin asks

"It is, Commander. Permission to leave, Sir?"

"Granted."

* * *

"All this time, we’ve only been fighting Titans aggressively," Hanji says as she links her arm with Moblit’s, "when all along, we should’ve fought them passively. We should’ve been studying them, their strengths and weaknesses, their intelligence, their purpose. We should try to capture one again, in fact, why did the Survey corps stop trying to capture them in the first place?"

"The last time the corps captured a Titan was fifteen years ago," Moblit states.

Nifa catches up to hug both of them from the back, "We need more weapons if we’re going to be experimenting."

Moblit nods, "I feel like finding that journal is the start of something dangerous… Like discovering something we weren’t meant to..."

A new wave of determination and passion fills Hanji, "We can’t allow her efforts to go to waste, we _must_ continue where she left off. No matter how small the information is, the deaths of so many people shouldn’t remain meaningless- not just our comrades but those who had to evacuate Wall Rose. _Our people._ "

Moblit and Nifa nods their enthusiastic agreement, "Hai!"

The three of them suddenly stop to find Levi, Farlan and Auruo waiting in the curb before Headquarters. "What’re you three doing here?"

"Erwin wants to know what you think of capturing a live Titan," Levi tells them with a bored tone.

"And he sent you just to tell me this?" Hanji asks.

Levi gives her a one-shoulder shrug.

Farlan lets out a chuckle, "We’re not the squad dubbed the Creative Unit."

Nifa makes a sound of discontent, "Abel’s ridiculous name caught on? No way! I’m so embarrassed..."

"At least we’re not called the Hell-hound Unit," Hanji tries to comfort her before turning to Moblit and snuggling deeper onto his side, "I’ll capture some Titans, you’ll protect me, won’t you?"

Moblit tries not to blush as he nods in the affirmative. Farlan sees his brother trying not to roll his eyes.

* * *

Farlan isn’t sure if he should intervene or not- it’s like watching Levi prey on potential territory all over again, and Farlan knows Hanji wouldn’t appreciate being likened to someone’s property- that much he can surmise from her character. The funnier part is Hanji isn’t even aware of Erwin’s, Levi's or Moblit's growing affections (or in the Commander's case, remaining interest)- she’s just casually flirting with all of them, which is _wrong_ because that could only lead to hurting someone’s feelings.

It is equal parts frustrating and entertaining- at least from his and Mike’s point of view. Abel and the girls of the ‘Inner Circle’ pity the males but not enough to help them; Abel is betting on the Commander because he’s a past flame, Nanaba is team Levi because he’s kept Hanji's interest so far, and Nifa is rooting for Moblit because he’s a loyal friend.

Farlan truly can't wait to see how this turns out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shampoo they use is similarly created to the shampoo Maine invented in Muse Asia's anime, 'Ascendance of a Bookworm.'
> 
> In this story, Hanji's Titan obsession starts when Ilse's journal is retrieved as it's concrete evidence that conveys something about the titans that needs to be discovered, to prove that they're not just man-eating monsters, but much worse (Eldians oppressed by Marley).
> 
> I thought this story would be longer, but Hanji's character development is kind of finished now? I mean, she went from being the used to the user, now she's partly aware of her femininity and she's not against all men to the point that she would just see them as objects to benefit off of.
> 
> Idk if this story is liked well enough to deserve a sequel but if it is, I have chapter one partly done?


End file.
